Substances and Behaviours

You’re the capable problem-solver, showing up to work, managing most of your life, keeping all the plates spinning - but there’s something going on that’s worrying you...

Maybe the gambling that started as fun now isn’t, the glass of wine that used to relax you now feels urgent each night.  

There’s so much to lose, including your self-image.  

Therapy or therapeutic coaching with me is a place where you can explore in confidence (other than very specific circumstances). No-one needs to know that you’re coming to see a therapist or bringing this up in your therapeutic coaching.

You could be impacted by issues with: Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling, Shopping, Internet use, Exercise, or something else.

·         Maybe you drank too much at a senior staff away day and behaved in a way that you know upset your colleagues, but you don’t remember how

·         Perhaps six bags of unopened shopping from high-end boutiques are sitting in your car boot, and still you have the craving to buy more

·         Maybe you’re gambling every night, you’ve lost thousands and you’re hiding it from your partner

·         Perhaps you’re reaching for your mobile phone constantly to scroll social media rather than running your business, work emails left unanswered

·         Maybe porn use that began after the loss of a relationship has escalated, and now you need more and more of it to feel ok

·         Or the existential crisis of being alive now, with all that is going on in the world, is becoming overwhelming and you’re having to do something as a means of escape and it’s worrying you…  

In therapy, there’s no pressure to say everything all at once. Therapy is about going at the right pace for you.

You can speak words that you haven’t said aloud before, try out different ways of understanding yourself, process what led up to use of a substance or behaviour, how it has unfolded, what its impact is on you and others.  

You’ll be able to see and hear my reaction. I won’t be shaming you.

I understand that life is hard. I understand use of substances and behaviours as coping and survival strategies.

The need to self-soothe in these ways has connections with personal identities and lived experiences. For example: members of the LGBTQAI+ community, impacted so much by homophobia, biphobia, transphobia in society. The effort of concealing neurodivergence. Ableism. Living with racism. The impact of class and hardship. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) (e.g. emotional neglect). The need to keep going during and after the trauma of interpersonal violence.

If you’re involved or have been involved in 12-step programmes, you might be comfortable with the disease model and calling the use of substances and behaviours ‘addictions’.

The word ‘addictions’ is a widespread descriptive word for use of substances and behaviours, but it isn’t a word I routinely use - unless it is the word that you want us to use. Your language matters most.

There’s also the biopsychosocial model, whereby we can think about things like genetics, physical health, peers, family, self-esteem, etc.

It’s a complex picture. We are all complex beings. There are so many barriers to people finding support.

Therapy (or therapeutic coaching) helps you work through what has happened, who you are, and what might come next.

It’s ok not to know what you want from bringing your use of substances and/or behaviours into the sessions. Some possibilities might be:

·         You may want to explore without a particular focus on change, to engage in self-development, reaching some self-compassion

·         You may want to focus entirely on making a complete change – such as sobriety or ceasing gambling

·         You may be thinking about harm reduction, making changes incrementally to reduce harm on your physical, psychological and/or emotional health: drinking less, for example

I don’t hold a desire for you to do one or another of these approaches. I have respect for what you decide.

You’ll be met by me with genuine care and without judgement.  

If any of this resonates, please contact me for a confidential chat. hello@coachingwithdeb.co.uk

Important note: If you’re coming to talk about use of substances or behaviours which you’re feeling are getting out of control, please do let me know when you get in touch, so that we can decide together what will create safe working. There are instances where you would need to have other services alongside you, for example if your regular use of substances is significant or if you are wanting to detox.